Why I Stayed Stuck In Biglaw (and it wasn’t just about the money)
Okay some of it was about the money (my $200,000 in student loans weren’t going to pay themselves off!)
Seriously, though, there were deeper issues that kept me stuck in Biglaw and I’m pretty sure I may not be alone in my struggle. You see I went to law school thinking I’d graduate, work in the criminal justice system, and change it from the inside out. I was going to be the compassionate prosecutor bringing balance to an otherwise imbalanced system.
But that didn’t happen.
I spent eight years at a major firm in DC before I jumped to the Division of Enforcement at the Securities and Exchange Commission. What took me so long? (you mean, other than the fact that I was a single mom raising twins in the DC Metro area?) A few things come to mind.
So here it is...the top reasons I stayed stuck in Biglaw.
THE PRESTIGE OF BIGLAW WAS HARD TO GIVE UP
I'm pretty sure I have a prestige problem. From the time I saw the look on my college advisor’s face when he heard I got into Columbia Law School, I was hooked. I liked that feeling so much that I went to the best law school that accepted me, even though another top choice would have cost me $40,000 less per year. And this continued through most of my life...
I loved telling people I was a law student.
I loved telling people I went to Columbia.
I loved telling people I was an attorney at a major DC firm.
I loved the look on my parents’ faces when they introduced me as their daughter, “the lawyer.”
And even when I left Biglaw, I loved telling people I worked for the Securities and Exchange Commission...in the Division of Enforcement.
But I didn’t actually love the practice of law. And I didn’t pay enough attention to that for a long time.
I’m so much happier now as an Accredited Financial Counselor. I get to help lawyers figure out their finances, often in the context of considering career transitions, and I just love my work.
But I’m not going to pretend I don’t miss some of that fancy lawyer prestige.
I really wanted to start this blog post by saying I “had” a prestige problem...but I’m probably not there yet.
The new gig sure helps, though.
EVERYONE EXPECTED ME TO GO TO BIGLAW
Biglaw was my path of least resistance. Maybe that sounds odd given its reputation for being challenging on all fronts, but it was true for me. Rather than examine whether I was doing work I was truly passionate about, I just stayed stuck.
It’s easier to remain where you are, do your work, and keep your head down. If you’re doing well, then you’re lulled into thinking maybe you should be doing this because you’re pretty good at it and everyone tells you you’re good at it.
I’m not lazy by the typical standards -- I work hard and it shows -- but I did take the easy road in not even considering other options.
Thinking about what I could do with my career, how I could make something else work, and what people would say about my decision felt overwhelming. And I didn’t have the luxury of free time to daydream and develop the plans that would ease my risk averse mind enough to make the leap.
I eventually left and now I help other lawyers figure out the financial piece of their own transitions, but it took a lot of energy to move past my own inertia.
My advice: take a good look at whether you’re doing something just because it’s easy.
The path of least resistance, even when paved with money and prestige, often isn’t the path to true fulfillment.
GOLDEN HANDCUFFS
How much does it really cost to have a job that is stressful and overwhelming? Golden handcuffs aren’t limited to the big house or fancy car. They can be all the little things you spend money on just because you’re unhappy in your job.
There were a lot of things for me that were just part of the lifestyle of being a 24/7 Biglaw attorney. My coffee budget was unlimited (as was the alcohol) and I took little pleasure in my actual work so instead I spent money on other things to try to get to happy.
Take out every night (ok, breakfast and lunch, too!)
A new pair of earrings
A fancy new gadget that was supposed to help me fix my life but I’d never end up using anyway because I worked all the time
And on and on and on.
Switching to something that is more fulfilling, in all the right ways, can be one of the best things you do for your budget.
When you’re not trying to add happiness to your life with comfort, convenience, and things...it’s not so hard to imagine life without the Biglaw salary.
I’m not here to tell you how to spend your money, that goes against my own values of respecting what my clients deem important.
But I am here to make sure the money you spend goes toward things that actually bring you joy.
True joy is the key to unlocking those pesky golden handcuffs.
For more strategies, check out this Zoominar where I discuss the phenomenon and how to loosen their grip so you can leave.
EVERYONE EXPECTED ME TO MAKE PARTNER, EVEN THOUGH I WANTED TO EXIT
The pressure to blaze a trail for those coming after you can feel suffocating. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled with the glass ceiling shattering going on in 2020, but there’s more to it. If trailblazing is keeping you somewhere that doesn’t serve you, it may be time for a change.
Trailblazing was a big reason why it took me so long to leave Biglaw.
On the path toward partnership, I felt the strong undercurrent of being a woman, Latina, mother -- single mother -- that if I can do this, then I'll show everyone that it CAN be done and pave the way for so many more.
Isn’t that my responsibility?
If I’m close, don’t I have to go for it?
I thought so.
So I silenced my gut that was screaming no and pushed on. I thought of all the people I would let down if I quit and so I charged forward.
But come decision time, I thought about how it would feel to let down the two most important people in my life -- my twin boys -- and my gut won. I left my firm for a job where I could better balance time with my now pre-teen kids and a life outside of work. I had missed most of their childhood and wanted to be around for the rest.
I applaud and am grateful for all the trailblazers out there.
But if that’s not your path, it’s ok. No one should judge you for it, especially not you.
ALL MY FRIENDS WERE IN BIGLAW AND WE ALL STRUGGLED WITH THE SAME ISSUES
When I finally figured out I wanted to leave the law I created a 10-year exit plan for myself. That timeline was eventually cut in half because of one thing -- an outside perspective. It was my then-future, now-current, husband’s action-oriented mentality and emotional support that supercharged my exit.
He served over 26 years in the Army and was at the tail end of that service when we met. The majority of my world was all lawyers then. We were all pretty risk averse, set in our ways, and hesitant to make big changes.
He doesn’t operate like that.
His entire career (and survival) has depended on taking decisive action, often with imperfect information.
I’m not sure I could think of something more frightening than making a decision without all the information!
But that’s just life, he understood that already.
So my 10-year exit plan ended up a 5-year exit plan, and we’ve never looked back.
Sometimes we need help getting out of our own heads to make the big decisions.
That’s one way I help my clients -- I know how our lawyer brains can be paralyzed by overthinking and overanalyzing with no action.
As an Accredited Financial Counselor, I help you cut through all the noise so you can focus on the most important aspects of your money, and supercharge your own journey.
What are your top reasons for staying stuck in Biglaw? If you need help thinking through the financial aspects of making a move, schedule a no hassle consult to see if we’d be a good fit for each other.
